Baby Ailís: A Story of Love, Loss, and Lasting Memories

Thank you so much to Ailís’ Mum Lauren and Dad Mark for allowing us the honour of sharing her story and the beautiful legacy she has left in the hearts of her family.

A unique name.

A unique girl.

Forever their daughter.

Forever Loved.

Please tell us about your baby. Are there any special moments in your pregnancy that stand out? How did you choose their name?:

For the longest time, we didn't have a name picked out. We called her 'baby b' because I was convinced it was a boy! When we found out we were having another girl we were over the moon. All the dresses they would match in and how they'd get on were what we spent our nights talking about. We knew we wanted her to have an Irish name and we were narrowing it down to either Fiadh or Ailís and we couldn't decide for weeks. Then one day I was at toddler jamboree with Meabh (our eldest daughter) where I met a baby also called Fiadh. Absolutely adorable baby but I knew then that her name needed to be unique and from then on she was only ever Ailís.

Would you like to share any detail about your precious baby's passing? For example would you like to share how you found out, what gestation they were? :

We found out very suddenly. Throughout the entire pregnancy everything had been smooth sailing. No issues bar morning sickness. However, at 38 weeks, just after new years this year, I woke up to no movements at all. This wasn't the first time so I didn't immediately panic but when she hadn't moved in a few hours I knew something was wrong. I told my partner Mark and we rushed to the hospital. We were in the coombe A&E section with 2 midwives who said they were having trouble with the dopler heart monitor for checking the babys heart rate and thats when I knew. The rest was a blur as our consultant and the bereavement midwives brought us a to a private room to discuss the plan. We went home that night in shock and came back the following morning to prepare for delivery.

The induction did not go well so we decided to opt for a c-section. During this, they told us that there was 12 times the amount of Ailís' blood in my system. This was more than likely the result of whatever happened to Ailís in the womb but they couldn't say what it was. She was born 7 pounds 2 ounces at 19:20 on January 3rd sleeping

Beautiful Baby Ailís

Do you have any thoughts you'd like to share in terms of recieving the photos and what they have meant to you as you grieve for your precious baby?:

Having the photos of that time is a true blessing. It was such a traumatic experience and one that is in many ways hard to recall. The photos are a memory of our girl we cant put any price on. Getting a few photos back so quickly too was so nice. We got to see our daughter in complete perfection. She just looked like she was sleeping.

How did you become aware of the services of NILMDTS Ireland? How was the service presented to you? Did you decide to avail of the service right away or did you have any hestiation?:

One of the bereavement midwives mentioned it to us as one of the services offered. We knew right away that this was something we wanted to have as our time physically with Ailís was so short that we wanted to do as much as we could for her as she deserved everything

Could you share a little bit about your session? How did you prepare for it? How was the experience of having potraits taken during such an emotionally delicate time?:

It was such a hard time but Anne Marie was amazing and kind and patient with us all. Having her own experience with Max meant that she was uniquely qualified to talk to us about what we were going through and she was an absolute blessing. She answered all our questions and even when we had more to ask later that day she came right back up to us. She was only ever a genuinely kind soul and we are eternally grateful to her for what she has given us

If someone is reading this and deciding whether they might have photos taken of their baby, what would you say to them based on your experience?:

Do it. You're not thinking clearly at the time. Just say yes and follow through with it because even if you cant look at them right away or ever, at least you know they're always there. It's such a short space of time and you're not thinking clearly. This is something that can only ever be a good thing to have

A note from Anne Marie Gillooley, the photographer in this session:

Taking these photos of beautiful Baby Ailís was such an honour and priviledge. I remember coming into the room and Lauren’s sister was helping her get ready for the photographs. Such a simple moment, but it struck me to my heart. Having a photographer attend for a photoshoot with NILMDTS Ireland isn’t just about the photographs, it is also about reclaiming one of the sadly countless missed moments and opportunities that are lost when a precious baby dies. I loved that in some way they were getting to experience that moment, to experience being the proud parents, of choosing a special outfit for Ailís, to add this memory to the precious bank of moments that will sustain and comfort them in their grief. 11 years ago we had a NILMDTS photographer take photos of our family when our son Max was stillborn, and to know and be able to pass that gift on to someone else feels like a huge part of Max’s legacy in this world.

It was also beautiful to have Ailís’s two wonderful grandmothers in the photos. Mark’s Mum had recently retired as a midwife from this very hospital, having supported many women through loss in her own career. My heart broke for her and for Lauren’s Mum, seeing their love for their granddaughter and also their love and desire to mend the broken hearts of their own children. The room abounded with grief, with support, and above all, with incredible love for this perfect little girl and for each other. Thank you to Lauren and Mark for allowing me in to the short time they had with their daughter in their arms. I am never not aware of what an honour that is.

Probably my favourite image from this session. Baby Ailís embraced in generations of love and support.